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How To Not Ruin Your Relationship In The Honeymoon Phase
During the first few weeks or months of a relationship, I'm always skeptical of my feelings for the other person. After all, I've been warned that these early feelings can be chalked up to the honeymoon phase , when you're infatuated with the thrill of a new relationship and just excited that your partner wants to date you. But according to research, the honeymoon phase lasts from 12 to 24 months. That's up to two years! I've never even been in a relationship for more than two years, so how do I know if my relationships have been based on genuine love or just early infatuation? The honeymoon phase is over when "romantic partners lose some of their 'newness' and the excitement fades — and, for many people, the unhappy reality sinks in," certified counselor Jonathan Bennett, founder of Double Trust Dating , tells Bustle.
Now, sure, the concept sounds sweet on the surface: Everyone dreams about being in a relationship with someone who remains forever smitten. But suggesting that love ceases when those sensual early stages of the relationship come to an end misses the whole point of the honeymoon phase, as several respondents point out. I agree that there should be unconditional love throughout the entire relationship but the honeymoon phase is more like an infatuation stage where you view each other with rose colored lenses and only focus on the good parts of each other which, while nice, is also unrealistic. In fact, numerous couples therapists tell me that the honeymoon phase ending actually acts as an important catalyst for the relationship to grow even stronger.
At the beginning of a good relationship, everything seems perfect. You and your partner agree on everything, you want to do the same activities on the weekends and you always look great and shiny and happy. But I digress. Most importantly, can you ugly cry and regular cry in front of this person?
How Long Does The Honeymoon Phase Last? 10 People Share Their Relationship Stories
The honeymoon phase of a relationship is the beginning of a relationship when both partners are essentially on drugs — their own endogenous drugs. The honeymoon phase is always exciting because the kind of love people enjoy is the addictive kind. Nothing wrong with that. In fact, if people know how to rekindle exciting love, which is the addictive type, then they should be able to do that even when the honeymoon phase is over.