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7 Things To Know Before You Start Dating a Friend
The first kiss my boyfriend and I shared as friends-who-now-know-they-like-each-other was nothing short of terrifying. I pulled him into what I thought would be a sweeping, spark-filled smooch and he just stood there, hardly moving. The rest of the date was even more catastrophic. We nervously drank too much and watched Sweet Home Alabama on his bed without looking at each other. I was convinced we had no chemistry and that I ruined a perfectly-great friendship. All to say: I have been there. Sure, friend-to-partner transitions can be magical and simple, but they can also be confusing and anxiety-inducing as all hell if you're someone who doubts themselves a lot. Luckily, there are steps along the way to make this whole process less like the most stressful thing that's ever happened to you. Here are seven things to keep in mind if you're two friends thinking of dating each other:.
Several years ago, I started dating my best friend. At the time, it made perfect sense. We were inseparable, we had so much in common, we were extremely close, and when we realized we had feelings for each other that surpassed being just friends, it seemed almost silly not to date each other. Especially since we were both single and had been single for a while — a factor that we didn't take into consideration as something that was weighing heavily on our decision. Needless to say, it didn't work out. And, in the process, we lost each other. Now our contact is limited to happy birthday emails.
Now, as the dust is settling on what I see now was our inevitable breakup, we are both left reeling over the end of two different relationships — the romantic one and the friendship that used to be so strong. We bonded over our mutual love of writing, our equally-dark humor, and the way we both had a long list of ex-partners with funny anecdotes. Eventually, after he got me a job at the bar where he worked, we began spending more and more time together. We would go for coffee outside of class and work, we would call each other to talk about our days. There was no pressure with him. I could try on clothes in front of him and ask what he thought, without feeling even slightly self-conscious.
Dating And Breaking Up With Your Best Friend
A breakup can be heartbreaking and the inclination to stay friends is understandable. When someone was important to you romantically, it's natural to want to hold on to that connection. However, this can be difficult territory.